Thursday, March 26, 2009

Crown Bestows Gifts; Vassels Gleeful

Prince Pepper proclaimed today that King Strickland will bequeath over $45 million in porkulus funds to Hamilton County and the City of Cincinnati, including (p12):

$ 5,000,000

The Banks Transit Center

$ 8,000,000

The Banks Street Grid

$ 20,000,000

Eastern Corridor Development

$ 6,100,000

Interstate 75 Rehabilitation

$ 10,200,000

Riverfront Intermodal Center Phase 2
Alas, no tribute is, as yet, forthcoming for the aristocratic streetcar, so the weary gentry of Over-the-Rhine shall be forced to continue circumambulating like peasants.

Prince Portune has spent, all told, over a fortnight currying favour before various royal courts. Perhaps he might be persuaded to continue his supplications and obtain a few more meager scraps for our humble shire.

Of course homage for this patronage must be dutifully rendered to Emperor Obama, for it is his dubious generosity that is so freely dispensing the contents of the treasury. Methinks his approval will not be so high once his subjects discover the gifts are not gold, but debts to be repaid by the subjects themselves, with hefty interest.

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